I Have to Admit

"The cup which the Father has given Me, shall I not drink it?"

John 18:11

I'm struggling right now.  I have some issues in my life that are literally drowning me.

I'm holding on, but sometimes I feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water. It doesn't help that I've been extra tired.

I find myself running to Him saying... "Jesus I trust in You, I trust in You."  But, I have to admit I'm struggling.

Today was one of those days.  So, I reached out to Jesus and was nudged to open my Every Day In His Presence.  I opened to this...

"Admit it - the reason certain situations bother you so deeply is because you feel out of control.  Life hasn't turned out the way you planned and you're desperate to regain your influence.

Perhaps this was the problem for Peter.  After all, how could a man brave enough to fight for Jesus in Gethsemane suddenly become so fearful that he denied the Savior three times? Could it be because his plans had fallen apart and he felt out of control?  He could handle fighting Rome with swords, but he didn't comprehend the far greater victory Jesus' resurrection would have over sin.  Had Peter understood Jesus' true purpose, certainly he wouldn't have been so fearful.

Like Peter, you may want God's will but are unsure about how He is accomplishing it and you prefer to manage life according to your terms.  But, friend, it just doesn't work that way.  So let go of your fear and allow the Savior to work.  He has a better plan than you can imagine.  Accept that He's in control, and rest in the knowledge that He's always victorious." End

Wow, I felt nailed on that one!  I say I trust Jesus, but at times I'm trying to "fix it" all on my own.  I am trying to control something that is uncontrollable.  I'm trying with my own strength to make it all better.  When I fail, I find myself dangling and once again calling out to Jesus.

I can't fix this.  It is totally out of my hands.  So, once again I admit my mistake, hang onto Jesus and wait on His perfect timing.

I have to admit, it's hard.  But, didn't Jesus tell us to pick up our cross and follow Him?  Didn't He remind us that following Him is the narrow way, not the wide?  Yes.  I need to remind myself of this.

Maybe someone else out there reading this is struggling like this too.  If so, pray with me...

Jesus, Your ways are far wiser than mine.  I will trust Your purposes, amen.

"Father, I will wait for You.  I know You hear me and will answer my prayers in Your perfect time, amen.

(Every Day In His Presence)

Let us keep holding on.